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i got to decide and figure things out now. but why can't i just decide what i really want? i know i'm the only one can decide and hate being where i am. i constantly say this but nothing change. i need to decide if this is what i really want. should i just leave and leave everything behind. thinking about it sometimes make me realise that the chapter never really close all it does was push it away. i got to find a way out now..................